Got Faith??

For those who grew up reading the bible, we all know the well-beloved scripture verse in Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."  In other words, being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  A lot of people struggle to practice this in their lives because we all want to see visible results immediately. That is just human nature.  So, how do we practice faith?

Faith encompasses all things, all areas of a person's life.  What does it do? It is having the courage to go against those who criticise what we do and meet very few who give praise.  For example, I was watching a movie about Saint Moscati, the venerated doctor of the poor.   He was a Catholic Italian doctor who viewed his practice of medical science as a way of alleviating suffering, not as a way of making profits, and would retire regularly for prayer. He also attended Mass daily, and would sometimes use a patient's faith, as well as the Catholic sacraments, in his treatments. He refused to charge the poor for his treatments.  A lot of people in his time didn't understand his faith and courage.  They criticized him.  

Faith can also help those garner strength to overcome their trials and tribulations.   Now that does not mean it will protect us from life's deepest pains.  We will face unexpected twists and turns in our best-laid plans. When things don't go as we hoped, a willingness to let go of our expectations opens the way to something new so we can see God present in our lives.  We, therefore, learn from our humanity and grow from it.  Something can awaken in us when we realize we have nowhere to go but forward. That is where our courage comes from.  God has a plan for each of us that is unique to our life only and it is on His own timetable.  We have to be patient and wait.  That is the hard part but once we overcome whatever life throws at us, it will become easier. 


I personally had a really hard time this past week as my fiance and I went through a trying time with us being separated from each other as he is still waiting on his business contract to conclude.  I got impatient and lost my faith.  So, therefore became angry with him and at myself for doing so.  It was my fault.  Well, I hadn't heard from him this past week.  I thought he was mad at me and gave up.  Come to find out he was in the hospital for being sick from extreme stress over his job and the strain it put on our relationship.  I  felt so badly about my faithlessness.  So, this past weekend, I spent time with God in prayer and repentance.   I asked for prayers from my friends. I also spent time in prayer during Mass today.   I felt somewhat better knowing that God forgives all sins even anger and impatience.

Yesterday,  I was looking for some pocket change for a friend of mine, and happened upon this little basket full of hairbands that I claimed after my late mum's passing.  I had seen this little cross in there before but paid no mind to it.  The Holy Spirit told me to take a closer look at it.  It turns out the front of it was silver with flower petals on it with the back being in gold with the inscription "Faith" on it.  I had to look at it more closely with my magnifying lens.  I was astonished!  It was a sign from God himself.   He was telling me to have faith! That sure gave me courage to keep going!! Thanks be to God!

Keep Calm and Carry On

What is this?? This strange and unknown slogan at a time like this?? Where did it come from?? Well, I only had heard about it recently from watching a show about The Brit List coolest places, things, and people in pop culture.   Since I am an Anglophile, interested in all things British, and therefore moving to the UK, I wanted to find out more about this thing.

During World War II, the British monarchy wanted to bring about more interest to the war efforts during that time. So, the government created the Ministry of Information to create some posters to boost morale.

The first two were produced with King George VI's crown on it.  Along with those two, the third one displayed here was also produced by His Majesty's Stationery Office (HMSO) of England. The plan was to issue it when Britain was being invaded by Germany.  As this never happened, the poster was never seen by the public eye.  It was believed the poster was destroyed at the end of the war in 1945.

Sixty years later, a bookseller stumbled upon a copy hidden among a pile of books bought from an auction. A small number remained in the National Archives and the Imperial War Museum in London.   Sadly, there are no record of the original creator of the simple yet quintessential  Britishness of the slogan. I am seeing evidence of a late resurgence of this calming and reassuring message since the Western civilization is in such a panic over doomsday and the current state of affairs of the world.

Britain has a way of keeping its cool in a crisis.  They are known to solve their problems in a common horse sense kind of way and with a no nonsense attitude.  They have never been one to panic and rush about foolishly.  They sit down with a cup of tea and say "Keep Calm and Carry on!" and watch the rest of the world go by in their blind fury of turmoil, strife, pettiness, and greed.  

That is exactly what I will do also.  Keep calm and carry on.  As I go thru my personal journey while it is in an upheaval and not knowing where God is taking me, I can adopt this endearing British attitude towards my life.  I feel like I can fare better whilst I am learning about the Catholic faith and also what God wants me to do.  There are times when I have had my doubts and insecurities about my relationship with my fiance.  That is normal for any prospective bride to go thru so I been told.    There are also times when I feel lost.  Again, very normal when your life is changing before your very eyes.   So, doing these two things, going to Mass & keeping calm is better than being panicky. 

Mass: Quality or Quantity??

 To answer that question, I look to sources that will help us explain what mass is and how important it is.  I kind of had an inkling but I wanted more of a defined definition.  This is from northwestern.edu. 
 
"We use the word mass to talk about how much matter there is in something. (Matter is anything you can touch physically.) On Earth, we weigh things to figure out how much mass there is. The more matter there is, the more something will weigh. Often, the amount of mass something has is related to its size, but not always. A balloon blown up bigger than your head will still have less matter inside it than your head (for most people, anyhow) and therefore less mass.

The difference between mass and weight is that weight is determined by how much something is pulled by gravity. If we are comparing two different things to each other on Earth, they are pulled the same by gravity and so the one with more mass weighs more. But in space, where the pull of gravity is very small, something can have almost no weight. It still has matter in it, though, so it still has mass."

So, there you have it.  That is what mass is.  We are constantly weighing things around us.  Take for example a trip to the grocery store.  As we walk thru the produce section, we pick out a handful of potatoes to put into a bag, we then weigh it in a scale to get the right weight per price.  We then go check out at the cash register and go home after much weighing and comparing things in the store.

Now there is a different kind of mass that most people have never experienced in their lifetime or they just don't understand or know about it.  It is the Catholic Church's Mass.  What is it?  Mass is an ancient form of celebration.  It is the central act of worship in the Catholic Church where the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross is made present in its Eucharist, the Lord's Supper, the bread & wine.  That is not to say we are sacrificing Christ all over again.  Rather, it is a re-presentation of His original sacrifice to us.  That means that Christ is present in the Eucharist.  That is His body and blood we are partaking of.  The bread & wine are not merely symbols.   This ritual strengthens the faith of Christians worldwide and how we keep Christ in our lives as we go about our daily business of our journey on earth.

As I go thru my life trying to find my place in this world, I am weighing things of a more personal nature.  I am trying to make things right in my life since I knew I had erred in the past.  There were things that I knew I shouldn't have done. I am now trying to make amends for it.   Now I know I shouldn't have consulted a psychic or played with a ouija board.  Those are things that God disapproves of.  It was even mentioned in the Old Testament of the bible. Leviticus 19:31, "'Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.'"

Today, I went to Catholic Mass but I knew I had to learn to crawl before I can walk in the Faith.  From my research about Catholicism, I knew I couldn't partake of the Eucharist until I am confirmed a member of the Church.  So, I am crawling now.  Constantly weighing things and  learning what I need to do.  From the image in this post, you can see where I might be now. The smaller ball could represent quality.  The bigger ball could represent quantity.   Like the old saying goes in the bible, you must drink the milk first before eating the meat.  1 Cor 3:2 "I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able."  So, I am experiencing the smaller ball, quality before quantity.  I am drinking the quality of the milk before I can eat the quantity of the meat. 

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This past Friday night as I was laying in bed just shortly before I went to sleep, it came to my mind about something I had experienced with my fiance after we had become engaged.   Remember, in the first blog entry I made, that his first wife died in a car wreck? Well, this occurred before he told me what happened.  I woke up early one fine spring morning last year in a cold sweat from a vision that got me thinking.

This is what happened.  I dreamed I was driving in a vehicle and saw a white building to the left of me blurring by in very slow motion and then bam, I felt like I was being hit with a ton of bricks.  Then I came out of the dream in that cold sweat as mentioned above.  For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why that dream occurred.  Was it about me? Was something going to happened to me?? Would I die?? I didn't know.

Then it wasn't long afterwards I had ventured to ask my fiance what happened to his late wife, and when he told me that she had died in a car wreck, then it was like the breath was taken out of me as I was in shock.  I was able to put two and two together and realised it was about his late wife..  She had came to me and put herself in my body temporarily I guess to help me understand what happened to her.  Around that same time, Dean had a dream that she came to him as well and she had told him that I was the one for him.  She had approved of the union.  When Dean and I both told each other our visions, we both were shocked.  So, now after all this time, that is why Dean said that we are designed for each other.  He and I think alike most of the time.  Even his daughter had said I behaved exactly like her mum.  I felt like I was in the twilight zone.  Very weird.  So, now you have been told another piece of my destiny about my life.  I am still amazed by it all. I can't help but wonder what will come next.

Well, it certainly has been a long while since my last post! But here I am again. Continuing on with my story of my destiny!! As I have said before, I met my fiance Dean shortly after my divorce from my first marriage.  Dean told me he has been Catholic all his life. He is so obedient and devout in that he says his morning and evening devotions every day. 

By the way,  he is still in England waiting on that contract to finish up.  It is so frustrating!! I know how long those contracts can be.  For example, I live nearby in the panhandle of Florida and there was a big construction boom going on at the beach for these companies to build these condos that blocked the view of the beach from the road.   Sometimes, these contractors will wait months and sometimes a year or two for a permit to clear before they can commence building.  I know the feeling believe me!

My fiance and I will be together this year cuz I had God talking to me saying "You will be with him child" in a still small voice.  It was like someone standing next to me saying that.  So, I have faith and know it will happen. Anyways, just recently, I had another realisation that came to me and I hadn't even thought about this until now.  As I was saying about being in college fresh out of high school and living in the dorms, I met a very cute and nice boy who told me he was Catholic.  But I wouldn't have anything to do with him cuz I was scared of Catholicism.  That poor boy didn't know and understand! I didn't give him a chance! But now, seeing back on this, God put that boy in my life to prepare me for Dean.  God had exposed me to Catholicism cuz I had never heard of it til that time even tho I was raised Episopalian and they are similar to Catholicism but never made the connection til now.

That was another part of my destiny that was unfolding as well.  Amazing huh!! Another part that came to light recently was the fact that I had told Dean that if I could give him a child that if it was a girl, she would be named Elizabeth and if it was a boy, either Luke or Logan. I had the distinct impression of a boy's name Frank but really didn't care for that name.  I don't know why at that time but there it was.   So, weeks later, I finally got around to asking Dean about his parents' names who had died for whatever reason that he was still uncomfortable to talk about, when he told me their names were Frank and Elizabeth, I was in shock!! My mouth just hung open! When he had asked me why I wanted to know I just told him I wanted to know.  I don't think he made the connection with one of my previous emails beforehand about the girl's name being Elizabeth.  And still hasn't but I know once he reads my blog he will know and will be checking his old mails for that. lol.  Anyways, maybe his parents are hanging around me making sure I marry their son and take care of  him.  lol.  That is it in a nutshell.

Well, I am back after being a bit busy lately. I have just remembered a couple things that gave me more clues as to what has made my destiny unfold.  Years ago, fresh out of high school, I went away to college.  I stayed in the women's dormitories at the time.  It was an exciting experience and will never forget it.  I don't know what made me do it. Whether it was peer pressure or my own curiosity. I had wanted a Ouija board.  For those who don't know what that is, it is a talking or spirit board with the numbers 0-9, the letters of the Alphabet, and the words "yes" and "no", "goodbye".  It has a pointer that points to either a number, letter, or yes, no, goodbye according to the person's question. 

I finally gotten one and played it with my dorm mates a few times.  Well, it is the general rule of thumb not to play that board alone, but one time I did.  I asked the board what will be my future husband's name?? It spelled out the word Dean.  But it didn't tell me when I would marry him. Now, as I think back on it, I am amazed that I could remember that.  It was meant for me to do so I guess at this point in time. Why I don't know.  I have since after that time, threw the board away cuz things started happening to other people in the dorm shortly after I played it alone.  Then I went on with my life and forgot about the whole thing til recently.

Another thing was brought up to my attention from my past that has still ceased to amaze me. Years after that college episode, I went on with my life never having finished college.  I was so young and wasn't sure of myself or what I wanted out of life at that time. So, therefore, I moved to the beach and had a child out of wedlock. He turned out to be a very beautiful baby and bright child.  Very smart.  But if I had known then what I know now, I would have waited til marriage to have a child. But it is what it is.  I don't regret having him cuz I love him.

Anyways, while living on the beach with him,  I had gotten curious again.  For some reason, maybe from watching a commercial on tv, I had called a psychic hotline.  The woman asked me to tell her to stop when the moment strikes me as she drew my tarot cards over the phone.  To this day, I still don't remember the cards she talked about but this was just recently brought to my attention.  Again, it was meant for me to remember this too. She did say that I was going to be very rich in the future and have a tudor house. I just laughed it off and told myself "In your dreams".  I went on with my life.  At that point, I had also forgotten about the whole thing til recently.

Well now that my fiance is from England, the tudor style houses originated from there. And he will be able to take care of me soon enough.  I am so lucky that we are so so passionately in love with each other and nothing will come between us.  So, now looking back on all this, I am so amazed how my life is turning out now. Someday my fiance and I will write a book and all of this will be in the book.  I so can't wait for the next chapter in the next few weeks.  Stay tuned!!

Well, I am about to see my destiny unfold in two weeks.  The moment I been waiting for.  My fiance is coming to bring me home so I live a normal life with a family I so desire to have.   After what I been thru with my alcoholic ex-husband and the choices I made in my life when I was younger, I am ready for normalcy.  Ready for a healthy relationship for a change. I do deserve better.  He even said that. He wants me to have the best he can offer.  I am so happy with him.  And he is happy with me.  My newfound daughter is so excited to have me as her new mum.  She can't wait for me to come home too.  I can't wait to meet her. 

Our new family will have so much fun in this life together cuz we are all fun-loving people.  We like to cut up and have a laugh.  My fiance and I have worked so hard for this moment to come into our lives.  It took almost a year before we could bring it to fruition. Two weeks ago, we actually got into our first serious fight about it.  It came to the point where I did break up with him and didn't write him for two days.  Then he won my heart back saying that he was really serious about marrying me. He meant that and stands by it. It sure melted my heart completely.  Now is that romantic or what?  He said "Love is trust".  So, I have complete faith in him and also more importantly, in God. Our father in heaven comes first in our lives.  He and I have always put God first.  We love going to church and praying.  That is what kept us going.  Plus our emails to each other.

So, now, our faith is about to be rewarded after much trial and tribulation in our first year together. I have been planning the wedding so far.   I know what style dress I want to wear.  I picked out the cake place to use for our reception.  I even picked out the venue to use for our reception.  The colors will be like pink roses. I think it is called a blushing pink. My hair has got so long cuz I wanted to have it curly or wavy for my special day. I even saved a picture of a model with the hairstyle I wanted to wear.  I have so many things to get ready for when we come back home.  And not much time to wait cuz we will have to leave for our honeymoon to Dubai after our wedding.  He will have another business trip there before we can start to have fun for our honeymooning.  And that is fine by me.  As long as we are together considering what we been thru together during our first year, I will be happy to be there with my sweetie. This week will tell the tale.  Stay clued for the next episode of my life next week.